"Warring Ideals in One Dark Body"

This one's locked for a few privacy reasons that will become self-evident. EDIT: Unlocked because I think enough time has passed.

"I know you, Mardi Gras."

That's what's said in New Orleans at a costume ball when you recognize someone through their mask, their disguise.

Last night I sat and watched Instructor NuMedic with about two bandages per hand--so forlorn--because he had run out of lancets and desperately wanted to show us the glucometer with real blood. This was right after he sprayed nitro in the air and nebulized the room with Albuterol a bit. I was right in front with the smell of iron in my face and aware of a slight high from the chemicals. He sent someone for Ins. Sharp Eyes to ask if there were more lancets and finally sat there trying to squeeze blood out of one of the holes he'd already pricked for a different demo. Now, I know I'm a bit twisted and this could just be my own blood lust (yes, I did have to suppress an urge to suck his fingers), but we had already seen all these things without the "live demonstration" aspect and nobody in their right minds is so eager to prick themselves (or disappointed that they can't) unless they are a little bit bent.

BTW, EMT-B's aren't even allowed to do "sticks" in this state--it's an invasive procedure. If someone is able to stick themselves or they have an assistant their to help then we observe and note any relevant findings.

(OK, there's also a piece about being able to observe if anyone is afraid of blood in this way. It's reasonable that someone might get to this point and not know that they will faint upon the sight of blood. It happened to my cousin in pre-med and he had to change career paths because he didn't know that he would react that way until confronted with a graphic video involving blood loss.)

.....

The other day, Sarge, in her faux-cavalier-but-secretly-enjoying-fucking-with-you way, said  "Everybody starts out in this class..." and mimed someone hesitant to listen to someone's chest with a stethoscope or palpate at all, "...and by the end you're all ripping each others clothes off. Literally. In a few weeks we're going to start trauma. We get you to sign waivers, 'It's okay for people to cut off my clothes in class,' and we dress you in our crappy donated clothes and you practice ripping them off of each other."

I know you, Mardi Gras.

I raised my hand. "Is there a sign-up going around?"

.....

"You will receive extensive training about this, because this is the Bay Area, but if you respond to a call where you are uncertain of gender, and it is relevant to your assessment or treatment, you will ask them if they prefer a pronoun--not everybody does--and you will use that pronoun with them. You will also ask their biological sex and note it for the docs and nurses. DO NOT ask them if they are a "he or she"--that is rude--and they would be within their rights to smack you. You're gonna go through more in depth training, because this is the Bay Area, but I wanted to say at least that much. Are we clear?"

.....

Hi Sarge,

Here's hoping you're well. Just checking in about EMT-B class. I'm concerned that for the next couple of weeks until this toe heals (the specialist is asking me to try to take it easy for the next couple of weeks and says it's healing more slowly because I keep using it), I'm not getting the proper practice with the gurneys, and I was wondering if you could suggest anything? I know we don't test on it, but I still don't feel really comfortable.

I was also wondering if I could ask you to speak to ER Tech jobs? I was sort of thinking of going in that direction rather than riding ambulances, since my larger goals will take me to nursing school and I don't want to mess that up by blowing out my back. Realistically, I'm a small-framed person, and even though I know I could increase my strength some--I'm just nervous about trying to do it full-time. I tried to lift Chuckle Nut at 170 lbs (granted, on a broken toe) and I couldn't do it--he sank like a stone. I want to work in health care where I'll serve and perform best, not clog up the works and slow everything down or always have to call other people to help. That's not fair to the rest of the team, I don't think, just to be there filling some quota. That's not what I want.

Finally, if you have any advice on strength building, I'm all ears, and would love to hear more about if you lift or recommend any particular kind of lifting...is it all squats or core muscles? Since I can't jog I might as well try to do something to help my performance and blow off steam. I realize this is a long email, I just wanted to get out the questions and whatever medium is best for you to answer works fine for me too.

Thanks again for everything, but mostly your inspiring example,

aquenigmatic

.....

Hey aquenigmatic,

Don't worry about the long email, I'm glad you came to me with this issue. First of all, the best way to learn the gurneys is practice. There is no substitute for that in regards to gurney use because each model is different and getting the techniques to keep your back straight down takes repetition. I would suggest that you come in early or on a day where you don't have class and work with me on some different lifting techniques. It's amazing the amount of work a toe actually does, and no I am not being sarcastic. Toes provide balance and without that, it's going to be a lot harder for you to feel confident with a gurney. Practice will definitely help.

As far as strength training specifically for EMS, the legs and back are the most important, but we also do a lot of work with our arms and our torsos. An all around strength training workout mixed with a circuit training workout a few times a week will do an incredible amount. Focus on "core" exercise that train you to hold your torso (and therefore back) straight.

ER Tech is a great career path to get yourself into the hospital atmosphere. A lot of hospitals are now requiring Phlebotomy Certification in addition to EMT, but I believe there are still a few who don't. If you are interested in Phlebotomy, talk to a rep at the school as we have a great course (I took it here and had a great time) that's two weeks long and we give you a discount if you have taken EMT. I don't know the specifics, I'm a Med Geek, not a salesman, but I'm sure that our reps would be more than happy to answer any questions about that.

In order to give you a feel for what it's like, when it comes time for your externship we'll sit down and figure out what you are specifically interested in and try to tailor your externship experience to that. I'm always available if you have any questions or concerns, so please
don't hesitate to call or email. I hope this answered some of your questions. If not, I will be on campus this evening.

Thanks!

Sarge

....

I talked with an Advice Nurse Podiatrist Specialist--GUESS WHO RECOMMENDS TAPING TOES? I find it more than a little maddening that one part of an institution says to do the opposite of what the other part says to do, especially as regards health and healing. Frowny-face for you, Dr. Debare! Whyncha do me a favor and leave the health and healing to the nurses and medics and wash my dick for me, m'kay?